Well avid followers of World Cup 2010's number one blog, looks like Mr. Morrati, owner of Inter is trying to tempt away the sage to lead his nerrazurri to another league title, which they can only lose, if they cut their legs off as the rest of the big teams in Italy are in such a dire state it is not even funny.
Firstly, Mr. C is paid an awful lot of money by the FA, but Moratti is talking about trebling his salary (lordy!)and the rumours are that that is before tax too (man alive!), Capello already makes £6m a year (Christ on a bike!)
Well how is an Italian going to be able to turn down the chance to return home and manage the only one of the big 3 that he hasn't bossed so far, for the tidy sum of £18m a year? That salary amount's got to be horse shit of the highest order (that means shire horse shit as they must be the highest horse -ed). No manager is worth that, and it's not like they need to win the Champions League or they are finished as a club if they don't bring home the seria A championship, because they've just won both, not to mention the Italian Cup. This baffles me.
Now if the FA had any sense, they would approach Mr.C about this (he has just removed a get out clause in his contract, which would normally be seen as a sign of commitment, but not by me)which means he no longer has the option of talking to other clubs before his contract is up. The FA need to set a contract buy out clause in the region of £15m. If the FA were to receive £15m which they could plough into school and other grass roots football (and get fucking Worstead playing back in the village) after England make it no further than another quarter final, who would bemoan the fact of Mr C moving on?
You would would you? Have a word with yourself, you stupid, two-bob, muggy cunt!
Saturday, 29 May 2010
MUGS ETC
Did anyone see the back page of the Guardian's sport section on Thursday? Marina Hyde's fantastic reportage/piss take out of the golden generation of the 3 Lions' biographies.
She coats off Cole, Terry and the like with panache, but the best is left for Frank Lamps. She describes the excerpt of his book from the World Cup in 2006, where Frank misses a penalty and feels terrible etc. But, then he looks to the sky and sees the moon, which reminds him of his daughter Luna (deep as mate, deep as) and all of a sudden he feels better.
Before I rip into my tirade of abuse, it is only fair to mention the Frank conclusions of Marina, she then reminds the readers that it was sun filled evening the night that Frank missed, plus the roof was closed! How priceless is that? Silly fucker!
Now this makes me angry in a few ways. Firstly, he feels better, less than a minute after missing a penalty, which will help to see England fall flat on their arses, again, after believing their own hype. We didn't look to the sky/roof of the pub and feel better mate, most of us had to hold back tears or stop ourselves from jumping into the telly to cut you a new mouth.
Secondly, you remember your daughter because her name is moon in Spanish? That's fucking gravy mate. If you want to remember your daughter more often, you are going to need to watch a whole lot of the Sky at Night or rename her Fanjita.
She coats off Cole, Terry and the like with panache, but the best is left for Frank Lamps. She describes the excerpt of his book from the World Cup in 2006, where Frank misses a penalty and feels terrible etc. But, then he looks to the sky and sees the moon, which reminds him of his daughter Luna (deep as mate, deep as) and all of a sudden he feels better.
Before I rip into my tirade of abuse, it is only fair to mention the Frank conclusions of Marina, she then reminds the readers that it was sun filled evening the night that Frank missed, plus the roof was closed! How priceless is that? Silly fucker!
Now this makes me angry in a few ways. Firstly, he feels better, less than a minute after missing a penalty, which will help to see England fall flat on their arses, again, after believing their own hype. We didn't look to the sky/roof of the pub and feel better mate, most of us had to hold back tears or stop ourselves from jumping into the telly to cut you a new mouth.
Secondly, you remember your daughter because her name is moon in Spanish? That's fucking gravy mate. If you want to remember your daughter more often, you are going to need to watch a whole lot of the Sky at Night or rename her Fanjita.
Monday, 24 May 2010
ENGLAND 3 MEXICO 1
Seriously, some people are just utter plums and it seems they are all employed by ITV sport in some capacity.
How many times did we have to hear during tonight's broadcast of the England game that, a win is a win, and that a send off with a victory is what's important, even though England didn't play at their best? No shit Sherlock, why the flange would a team with a very good chance of doing very well at the World Cup, try their hardest in their final home friendly?
Surely any true England fan would just be pleased that the bloody game is over and that nobody got hurt regardless of the result? I wouldn't have given a toss if we had lost 1-0 in tonight's game. Considering we were not going for it on all cylinders etc, yawn, etc, I thought we played some very good football in places and that overall the signs were extremely encouraging that we might live up to the hype that the English media so unfairly heaps upon the 3 Lions.
Johnson at right back played very well, and deservedly was awarded man of the match, plus he scored an absolute blinder of a goal. Ledley King, although shakey in places, looked good, although in the post match interview, he looked utterly fucked. Lennon looked sharp when he came on as did Adam Johnson, even though he only got six minutes.
I think that Mr. C's toughest decisions will come down to his choices of who plays wide. England for once, have a few wingers to choose from, plus some inside forwards who can play wide when needed. Adam Johnson could well go to South Africa, I know he only got six minutes, but surely the fact that he made the absolute maximum of his chance must go in his favour. If he hadn't been such a nice lad, he would have gone down in the area as his shirt was being ripped off his back and won us a penalty.
Lennon or Walcott? One to start and one to punish the knackered full back in the last twenty minutes of a game I think. I would start Lennon, at this point in time he is simply a much better reader of the game than Theo. He has more guile, a better shot and just looks more like a complete winger. Theo lacks a final ball, as we all know, but in the last twenty minutes against a tired full back, who may be on a yellow card, he is exactly the kind of player you want on your side. He can run and run,and not only can he run, he can run so fucking fast that you feel whacked out just watching him on the box lifting your fourth pint of the day towards your mush.
Hart looked good in goal. Wouldn't it be great if Mr. C just started him in South Africa? The one player I'm totally unsure of who will probably start is Calamity James. I've watched enough of him in action to know he is not the man that we need between the sticks.
On another note the Wembley pitch is all over the shop, not that it matters to England now, as we wont be playing there until September. John Terry made a great observation after his Chelsea side beat Portsmouth in the FA Cup final, saying that the pitch ruined the game. He went on to add that the FA need to decide if Wembley is going to be a football stadium or an events stadium. Although he is absolutely right, who does he think is still paying the bill of our new home? We all want the ground just to be used by the 3 Lions and for cup finals, but is that really realistic? Of course it isn't. The stadium costs a lot of dosh to maintain,and England do not play enough home games to cover those costs. Maybe JT should become a shop steward for the PFA and ask fellow England pros who make over £60,000 per week to put in 10% of their wages whilst they are playing/working/representing their country. That would mean a whole months worth of 10% of shit loads of cash over the world cup, could go into the Wembley coffers, and keep JT and the like happy badgers.
Or, he could charge fans thousands of pounds for a tour of Chelsea's ground and training facilities, off the cards, and just think, oh fuck it, wears that under age slapper, I need a nosh off.
Baked Patata!
How many times did we have to hear during tonight's broadcast of the England game that, a win is a win, and that a send off with a victory is what's important, even though England didn't play at their best? No shit Sherlock, why the flange would a team with a very good chance of doing very well at the World Cup, try their hardest in their final home friendly?
Surely any true England fan would just be pleased that the bloody game is over and that nobody got hurt regardless of the result? I wouldn't have given a toss if we had lost 1-0 in tonight's game. Considering we were not going for it on all cylinders etc, yawn, etc, I thought we played some very good football in places and that overall the signs were extremely encouraging that we might live up to the hype that the English media so unfairly heaps upon the 3 Lions.
Johnson at right back played very well, and deservedly was awarded man of the match, plus he scored an absolute blinder of a goal. Ledley King, although shakey in places, looked good, although in the post match interview, he looked utterly fucked. Lennon looked sharp when he came on as did Adam Johnson, even though he only got six minutes.
I think that Mr. C's toughest decisions will come down to his choices of who plays wide. England for once, have a few wingers to choose from, plus some inside forwards who can play wide when needed. Adam Johnson could well go to South Africa, I know he only got six minutes, but surely the fact that he made the absolute maximum of his chance must go in his favour. If he hadn't been such a nice lad, he would have gone down in the area as his shirt was being ripped off his back and won us a penalty.
Lennon or Walcott? One to start and one to punish the knackered full back in the last twenty minutes of a game I think. I would start Lennon, at this point in time he is simply a much better reader of the game than Theo. He has more guile, a better shot and just looks more like a complete winger. Theo lacks a final ball, as we all know, but in the last twenty minutes against a tired full back, who may be on a yellow card, he is exactly the kind of player you want on your side. He can run and run,and not only can he run, he can run so fucking fast that you feel whacked out just watching him on the box lifting your fourth pint of the day towards your mush.
Hart looked good in goal. Wouldn't it be great if Mr. C just started him in South Africa? The one player I'm totally unsure of who will probably start is Calamity James. I've watched enough of him in action to know he is not the man that we need between the sticks.
On another note the Wembley pitch is all over the shop, not that it matters to England now, as we wont be playing there until September. John Terry made a great observation after his Chelsea side beat Portsmouth in the FA Cup final, saying that the pitch ruined the game. He went on to add that the FA need to decide if Wembley is going to be a football stadium or an events stadium. Although he is absolutely right, who does he think is still paying the bill of our new home? We all want the ground just to be used by the 3 Lions and for cup finals, but is that really realistic? Of course it isn't. The stadium costs a lot of dosh to maintain,and England do not play enough home games to cover those costs. Maybe JT should become a shop steward for the PFA and ask fellow England pros who make over £60,000 per week to put in 10% of their wages whilst they are playing/working/representing their country. That would mean a whole months worth of 10% of shit loads of cash over the world cup, could go into the Wembley coffers, and keep JT and the like happy badgers.
Or, he could charge fans thousands of pounds for a tour of Chelsea's ground and training facilities, off the cards, and just think, oh fuck it, wears that under age slapper, I need a nosh off.
Baked Patata!
Thursday, 20 May 2010
NO CUM BURST FOR SIR HURST
West Ham won the World Cup! Fuck me, how many times have you heard an Irons fan spout that bollock mantra? Imagine for a second that we win it this year, they're going to say the same fucking thing.
Ferdinand, Lampard, Carrick, Defoe, Johnson, James, Upson, Green, Parker... It could get noisy in East London.
Of the 66 Claret and Blue contingent, Sir Geoff of Hurst reckons he backs Mr. C all the way by not allowing the WAGS to stay in the same hotel in South Africa. Wow, stop the press! What a genius. The idea of going to bed next to some uber fit slapper before playing against the elite players in the world at high altitude and in baking heat is not a good idea? Stone the crows! Is it because you might just be temted to give her a bit of how's your father and unload the magic ju ju beans all over her boat?
Sir Geoff has added 'Well I wouldn't have put it quite like that.' No I'm sure you wouldn't, that's why your a world champion footballer and I'm stuck in front of a computer writing swear words.
Cunt.
Ferdinand, Lampard, Carrick, Defoe, Johnson, James, Upson, Green, Parker... It could get noisy in East London.
Of the 66 Claret and Blue contingent, Sir Geoff of Hurst reckons he backs Mr. C all the way by not allowing the WAGS to stay in the same hotel in South Africa. Wow, stop the press! What a genius. The idea of going to bed next to some uber fit slapper before playing against the elite players in the world at high altitude and in baking heat is not a good idea? Stone the crows! Is it because you might just be temted to give her a bit of how's your father and unload the magic ju ju beans all over her boat?
Sir Geoff has added 'Well I wouldn't have put it quite like that.' No I'm sure you wouldn't, that's why your a world champion footballer and I'm stuck in front of a computer writing swear words.
Cunt.
HER INDOORS
So the wife, husband, boyfriend, grilfriend don't like the footy? What to do? How can you survive an entire month of trying to keep her happy and watch the football too? How will she be able to cope with getting blanked for hours upon hours every day.
Don't forget in this global finacial crisis, it's not like we're all swimming in green either is it? So a nice dress, shopping spree, holiday is not a likely option.
And what if you've got kids? Fuck, that's a tough one.
Well don't panic, Uncle Rancey is here to sort it aaaaaaatttt!
Firstly, the kids can go and stay with Grandma, because Grandad will be with you watching the football anyway, he'll be on the lash, puffing on the snouts that he told her indoors he quit years ago and quite likely sharing a nose bag and then trying to tempt you to go halfs on a brass. My Dad's a bad man. So that's the nipper sorted.
The wife, well, she can go and fuck it. You do everything for her anyway, so if she moans, clobber the fucker in the mush with a right hook, and if she gives you any more grief, give her a shoeing when she's down, she wont get up after that, not at least until half time.
Bosh!
(Not really -ed)
Don't forget in this global finacial crisis, it's not like we're all swimming in green either is it? So a nice dress, shopping spree, holiday is not a likely option.
And what if you've got kids? Fuck, that's a tough one.
Well don't panic, Uncle Rancey is here to sort it aaaaaaatttt!
Firstly, the kids can go and stay with Grandma, because Grandad will be with you watching the football anyway, he'll be on the lash, puffing on the snouts that he told her indoors he quit years ago and quite likely sharing a nose bag and then trying to tempt you to go halfs on a brass. My Dad's a bad man. So that's the nipper sorted.
The wife, well, she can go and fuck it. You do everything for her anyway, so if she moans, clobber the fucker in the mush with a right hook, and if she gives you any more grief, give her a shoeing when she's down, she wont get up after that, not at least until half time.
Bosh!
(Not really -ed)
Thursday, 13 May 2010
IF TERRY IS FUCKED, ARE WE FUCKED?
Turns out that little up start Sturridge has injured the ex England skipper whilst training for their club, Chelsea. Chelsea, the champions play their premier league polar opposite Portsmouth who are relegated, in this Saturday's FA Cup final at Wembley.
Heavy bruising to the foot is the latest... Could well be a fracture though, which means two things.
John Terry rests over the weekend and doesn't kick a ball until the training camp starts in South Africa, where he gets to play alongside the now captain, Rio Ferdinand in an excellent central defensive partnership.
or
John Terry does the usual, unprofessional, i put my body on the line, I'll play with only one leg, I'd throw myself under a truck for club and country and plays this saturday, fucks his foot up so severely he misses the World Cup.
Now Ol' Johnny Boy has had a funny ol' year, so it really depends how his mind is working. Does he think, 'Fuck it I'm playing, I'm giving my all to the Chelsea fans who have stood shoulder to shoulder with me through this turbulent time which really wasn't my fault and everyone is over reacting all I did was fuck my bezzie mates bird... A few times'.
Or
Does he think 'Christ I've been enough of twat this year. I'll keep my head down, sit this one out on the bench, or even watch it WITH the fans, they'll fucking love that, man of the people etc etc, plus if there's any decent scranny in the crowd I can take them to the shitter and they can nosh me off...Everyone's a winner'.
For England's sake lets hope it is the last one, sort of. Saying that though, Ledley King, although hampered himself by injuries, is a very decent back up. He may even be a better player than Terry, he must certainly be a better bloke. The only problem is lack of international experience.
Watch this space. Pull that finger. Smell the fart.
Heavy bruising to the foot is the latest... Could well be a fracture though, which means two things.
John Terry rests over the weekend and doesn't kick a ball until the training camp starts in South Africa, where he gets to play alongside the now captain, Rio Ferdinand in an excellent central defensive partnership.
or
John Terry does the usual, unprofessional, i put my body on the line, I'll play with only one leg, I'd throw myself under a truck for club and country and plays this saturday, fucks his foot up so severely he misses the World Cup.
Now Ol' Johnny Boy has had a funny ol' year, so it really depends how his mind is working. Does he think, 'Fuck it I'm playing, I'm giving my all to the Chelsea fans who have stood shoulder to shoulder with me through this turbulent time which really wasn't my fault and everyone is over reacting all I did was fuck my bezzie mates bird... A few times'.
Or
Does he think 'Christ I've been enough of twat this year. I'll keep my head down, sit this one out on the bench, or even watch it WITH the fans, they'll fucking love that, man of the people etc etc, plus if there's any decent scranny in the crowd I can take them to the shitter and they can nosh me off...Everyone's a winner'.
For England's sake lets hope it is the last one, sort of. Saying that though, Ledley King, although hampered himself by injuries, is a very decent back up. He may even be a better player than Terry, he must certainly be a better bloke. The only problem is lack of international experience.
Watch this space. Pull that finger. Smell the fart.
Wednesday, 12 May 2010
DIET RIOT
In the Metro today (yes I know, it's shit etc), it states that Mr. C has ordered a load of grub from Tesco to take with him and the team to South Africa! The list of grub includes Tabasco (no doubt that is for Ashley Cole's ring piece), seaweed-sheets (which must be available in South Africa surely), pine nuts and many different flavours of tea, ooohhh hark at her!
Well, instead of forking out more fucking cashola, he should have got some of the fringe players on the 30 provisonal list to go shopping for him and the team. What was he thinking?
Lastly for today if it is true that David Beckham is going to travel with the team (the ones that are actually playing football and not just going on a holiday away from the wife to a place that is famous for beautiful creol prostitutes), surely he should be paying for his ticket and board? In fact, here's a better idea - if the FA are paying for him, (G-d know's how many thousands that will be, but I've got a feeling it would have been enough to put into school sports and stopped the White City school from having to sell their football pitch to developers because they are so skint) he should be making it up elsewhere to the team and FA. Instead of having to foot a cleaning bill on the training complex, Becks should do it! I can see it now, after a rigourous training session, fourteen pints of Lucozade sport and fifty energy bars Rooney needs the biggest shit known to man. Old Becks can go in there afterwards and spray a bit of jasmine around, and get the bog brush and scrape away at Rooney's finest shot of the day.
Fucking classic.
Well, instead of forking out more fucking cashola, he should have got some of the fringe players on the 30 provisonal list to go shopping for him and the team. What was he thinking?
Lastly for today if it is true that David Beckham is going to travel with the team (the ones that are actually playing football and not just going on a holiday away from the wife to a place that is famous for beautiful creol prostitutes), surely he should be paying for his ticket and board? In fact, here's a better idea - if the FA are paying for him, (G-d know's how many thousands that will be, but I've got a feeling it would have been enough to put into school sports and stopped the White City school from having to sell their football pitch to developers because they are so skint) he should be making it up elsewhere to the team and FA. Instead of having to foot a cleaning bill on the training complex, Becks should do it! I can see it now, after a rigourous training session, fourteen pints of Lucozade sport and fifty energy bars Rooney needs the biggest shit known to man. Old Becks can go in there afterwards and spray a bit of jasmine around, and get the bog brush and scrape away at Rooney's finest shot of the day.
Fucking classic.
THE DIRTY 30
And so it has come to pass, Mr. C has chosen his provisional squad for South Africa and whilst I will of course list them here, I will also list their crimes against their names. I must stress that although, most footballers probably are complete wankers, I love these men...Apart from Cole....And Terry...I'm not mad on James neither...I don't rate Johnson...Neville's a cunt too...
GOALKEEPERS
David James- He's an artist and he's not very good.
Joe Hart - he's inexperienced, highly unlikely to play.
Rob Green - he's from Norfolk.
DEFENDERS
Leighton Baines - yeah right.
Jamie Carragher - he's already turned his back on the national team and now he's back for more, cake and eat it? You cake eating cunt! Good player though and I don't think he's ever been caught smacking someone in the gob or fucking a brass.
Ashley Cole - Ha ha - unlike this rascal! The epitome of a total wanker. Problem is he's one of the best full backs in the world, but I reckon he's even better at being a cunt.
M. Dawson - do me a favour.
Rio ferdinand - the captain is a class act. He went to ballet school you know, oh yeah and he missed a drug test, which doesn't mean anything apart from the glaring fact he MIGHT have been using performance enhancing drugs or was on the nose gear for a while. Doubt it though eh? Rio? Never!
Glen Johnson - thinks he's a winger! He's not!
Ledley King - can barely walk, why are we taking him for? My nan's quicker over six yards and both her knees work too!
John Terry - his Dad's a chaz dealer, he fucked his best mate's missus! With a record like that, he must be on the iron bird!
Matthew Upson - fuck me, can I come too? Upson? Did anyone watch West Ham this season?
MIDFIELDERS
Gareth Barry - he's injured!
Michael Carrick - good first touch, good passer of the ball, he's like Scholes, but nowhere near as tasty as the ginger prince... who is not coming.
Joe Cole - tricksy winger, quite good really, problem is Mr. C doesn't seem to think so.
Stevie G - fucking amazing player, can lift a team, grab the game by its throat, scores goals, is a total hero, recently decked a man in a bar.
Frank Lampard - known as fat Frank in certain quarters and gets booed a lot. Never understood that, he's really rather splendid.
Tom Huddlestone - fuck me if you think Frank Lampard's a porker weight (genius) 'til you see big daddy here. I pity the fool who sits at the same breakfast table as him in South Africa, they will hank marvin mate.
Adam Johnson - The Theo Walcott pick. Has a very bright future, could well take Joe Cole's position.
Aaron Lennon - dreadful eyebrows.
James Milner - has had a great season, if Barry is injured I see him starting.
Theo Walcott - used to be good.
Shaun Wright-Phillips - see above (only this twat is getting worse as a player, but demanding more money!)
Scott Parker - he's a fucking diamond. He would be in any team I managed.
FORWARDS
Darren Bent - has had a great season, subs bench me thinks.
Peter Crouch - hard to dislike, although my dad fucking hates him 'Lanky fucking streak of piss'. Not a nice man, my dad.
Jermaine Defoe - quite probably having an affair with Harry Redknapp as he follows him around a lot. Scores a lot of goals, enjoys stamp collecting (untrue).
Emile Heskey - holds the ball up well, does lots of other things too, apart from what a forward is supposed to.
Wayne Rooney - likes a granny in the sack, happens to be brilliant.
Until next time.
GOALKEEPERS
David James- He's an artist and he's not very good.
Joe Hart - he's inexperienced, highly unlikely to play.
Rob Green - he's from Norfolk.
DEFENDERS
Leighton Baines - yeah right.
Jamie Carragher - he's already turned his back on the national team and now he's back for more, cake and eat it? You cake eating cunt! Good player though and I don't think he's ever been caught smacking someone in the gob or fucking a brass.
Ashley Cole - Ha ha - unlike this rascal! The epitome of a total wanker. Problem is he's one of the best full backs in the world, but I reckon he's even better at being a cunt.
M. Dawson - do me a favour.
Rio ferdinand - the captain is a class act. He went to ballet school you know, oh yeah and he missed a drug test, which doesn't mean anything apart from the glaring fact he MIGHT have been using performance enhancing drugs or was on the nose gear for a while. Doubt it though eh? Rio? Never!
Glen Johnson - thinks he's a winger! He's not!
Ledley King - can barely walk, why are we taking him for? My nan's quicker over six yards and both her knees work too!
John Terry - his Dad's a chaz dealer, he fucked his best mate's missus! With a record like that, he must be on the iron bird!
Matthew Upson - fuck me, can I come too? Upson? Did anyone watch West Ham this season?
MIDFIELDERS
Gareth Barry - he's injured!
Michael Carrick - good first touch, good passer of the ball, he's like Scholes, but nowhere near as tasty as the ginger prince... who is not coming.
Joe Cole - tricksy winger, quite good really, problem is Mr. C doesn't seem to think so.
Stevie G - fucking amazing player, can lift a team, grab the game by its throat, scores goals, is a total hero, recently decked a man in a bar.
Frank Lampard - known as fat Frank in certain quarters and gets booed a lot. Never understood that, he's really rather splendid.
Tom Huddlestone - fuck me if you think Frank Lampard's a porker weight (genius) 'til you see big daddy here. I pity the fool who sits at the same breakfast table as him in South Africa, they will hank marvin mate.
Adam Johnson - The Theo Walcott pick. Has a very bright future, could well take Joe Cole's position.
Aaron Lennon - dreadful eyebrows.
James Milner - has had a great season, if Barry is injured I see him starting.
Theo Walcott - used to be good.
Shaun Wright-Phillips - see above (only this twat is getting worse as a player, but demanding more money!)
Scott Parker - he's a fucking diamond. He would be in any team I managed.
FORWARDS
Darren Bent - has had a great season, subs bench me thinks.
Peter Crouch - hard to dislike, although my dad fucking hates him 'Lanky fucking streak of piss'. Not a nice man, my dad.
Jermaine Defoe - quite probably having an affair with Harry Redknapp as he follows him around a lot. Scores a lot of goals, enjoys stamp collecting (untrue).
Emile Heskey - holds the ball up well, does lots of other things too, apart from what a forward is supposed to.
Wayne Rooney - likes a granny in the sack, happens to be brilliant.
Until next time.
CAPELLO IN THE DEN OF THE 3 LIONS
When Mr. Capello first mardled into the sleeping 3 lion's den he would have seen a huge oppurtunity to become the man/legend who would rebuild England's flagging footballing fortunes.
Mr. Capello would have cast his four eyes at the over paid, over indulged and indulgent and the under achieving bunch that sat before him and he would have rubbed his hands with the glee of a hard bastard, task master, trouble shooter head teacher sent into a public school to sort out the brats and bash them into shape.
He would have seen English football as a giant pussy just waiting to get fucked. Of course this giant pussy had been fucked before, in fact over the years she had a reputation of minxing it up and had received a few goings over. She'd been frigged by a Swede, a Geordie on occasion had aroused her, A turnip had tried to stroke her clitoris, but in fact had missed and stuck his thumb up her arsehole, did he not like that! - and a religious man had tried so hard to please her, she quite liked him for a little while, but she had to throw him out when she found out he was a wheel chair user abuser.
She hadn't been given the climax she so desperately craved for so long and Capello saw an unhappy lady, he knew full well that the last time she had had an orgasm was in black and white when she was ejaculated into by the great Sir Alf.
Mr. Capello looked at the men-children in front of him. They were the boarders at Eton, the type that would shy away from wintry mornings on the sports field, but stay up all night, smoking out of the windows and playing soggy biscuit!
Soggy Biscuit, incidentally is a game that toffs play at boarding school and it involves a biscuit and the future leaders of industry shooting their cock snot upon it only for some poor plonker to have to eat or lick the biscuit! During my research of the great game of SB, a chap had posted the rules of the game on the internet with the wonderful send off 'Glad I never lost!'
Mr. Capello had his work cut out. But then he heard the opening bars of New Order's 'World in Motion' single, the smell of a rose garden, Gielgud's voice reading Henry V's St. Crispin's Day speech and the taste of warm, real ale exploded against his taste buds from nowhere.
And he thought to himself... 'I'm fucking onto something here'!
Mr. Capello would have cast his four eyes at the over paid, over indulged and indulgent and the under achieving bunch that sat before him and he would have rubbed his hands with the glee of a hard bastard, task master, trouble shooter head teacher sent into a public school to sort out the brats and bash them into shape.
He would have seen English football as a giant pussy just waiting to get fucked. Of course this giant pussy had been fucked before, in fact over the years she had a reputation of minxing it up and had received a few goings over. She'd been frigged by a Swede, a Geordie on occasion had aroused her, A turnip had tried to stroke her clitoris, but in fact had missed and stuck his thumb up her arsehole, did he not like that! - and a religious man had tried so hard to please her, she quite liked him for a little while, but she had to throw him out when she found out he was a wheel chair user abuser.
She hadn't been given the climax she so desperately craved for so long and Capello saw an unhappy lady, he knew full well that the last time she had had an orgasm was in black and white when she was ejaculated into by the great Sir Alf.
Mr. Capello looked at the men-children in front of him. They were the boarders at Eton, the type that would shy away from wintry mornings on the sports field, but stay up all night, smoking out of the windows and playing soggy biscuit!
Soggy Biscuit, incidentally is a game that toffs play at boarding school and it involves a biscuit and the future leaders of industry shooting their cock snot upon it only for some poor plonker to have to eat or lick the biscuit! During my research of the great game of SB, a chap had posted the rules of the game on the internet with the wonderful send off 'Glad I never lost!'
Mr. Capello had his work cut out. But then he heard the opening bars of New Order's 'World in Motion' single, the smell of a rose garden, Gielgud's voice reading Henry V's St. Crispin's Day speech and the taste of warm, real ale exploded against his taste buds from nowhere.
And he thought to himself... 'I'm fucking onto something here'!
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