Why the fuck any Englishmen bothers any more?
The Sun says you've let your country down, the mirror screams rout of Africa, done by the Hun, etc etc
I say, fine the cunts.
Well you won't be hearing from me for a while as I'll be arming myself to the teeth for the inevitable back lash and random acts of violence from my Scottish, Irish and Welsh friends.
Fingers crossed Rash hasn't slit his wrists with both S. Africa going out along with the 3 Lions you might get a post or two more from him, but I'm off, see you in 2 years for another load of Mutiny on the Cunty horse shit.
As Aristotle used to say
'bosh, mug, cunt, cock snot'
Monday, 28 June 2010
Sunday, 27 June 2010
Ooooooooh, close but no lard!
How goes it manjitas? Looks like a bigun on the horizon, squeeky bum time, ring-piece like a blood orange etc. We the few, love a game like this and expect one every international tournament, but it doesn't normally come as early on as this.
David James was quoted in the Grundyard yesterday saying that they were pleased with the prospect of facing the Gurmins, as Ghana are a better footballing team. Well, that was probably mind games, but after watching the Ghana forwards last night shoulder barge the seemingly futile attempts of the septic's centrebacks into row z, he may have had a point.
Milner will again be on the right, one hopes.....Oh christ on a bike, I can't do any more of this fucking shit, writing about fucking England. Too nervous, dizzy on coffee, my son's singing (he has the face of an angel but the voice of a charlatan), so I'm out of here.
I'll be watching the game with family and friends in my native village, back east in Worstead. Whilst I'm tapping this out on Dad's laptop (why are there so many pubes on his keyboard)I'm gazing at the rolling sun bleached grassy fields in this most beautiful of places. Memories of a sun drenched youth, eating corn fresh from the fields (with added fertilizer), sneaky snout smoking behind the delapidated shed by the cricket boundry, selling my first wrap of wizz to two fourteen year olds, trying to bum my then girlfriend against the wall of the Queen Elizabeth hall and failing, raping that holiday making couple from Dorset and then cutting them up and burying them on the outskirts of the village by the train station (not true -ed).
Oh the memories of my England, what is there not to be proud of? Thatcher, imperialism, track suits, big brother, Jeremy Clarkson and an international football team rammed to the hilt with cuntage.
COME ON ENGLAND!
David James was quoted in the Grundyard yesterday saying that they were pleased with the prospect of facing the Gurmins, as Ghana are a better footballing team. Well, that was probably mind games, but after watching the Ghana forwards last night shoulder barge the seemingly futile attempts of the septic's centrebacks into row z, he may have had a point.
Milner will again be on the right, one hopes.....Oh christ on a bike, I can't do any more of this fucking shit, writing about fucking England. Too nervous, dizzy on coffee, my son's singing (he has the face of an angel but the voice of a charlatan), so I'm out of here.
I'll be watching the game with family and friends in my native village, back east in Worstead. Whilst I'm tapping this out on Dad's laptop (why are there so many pubes on his keyboard)I'm gazing at the rolling sun bleached grassy fields in this most beautiful of places. Memories of a sun drenched youth, eating corn fresh from the fields (with added fertilizer), sneaky snout smoking behind the delapidated shed by the cricket boundry, selling my first wrap of wizz to two fourteen year olds, trying to bum my then girlfriend against the wall of the Queen Elizabeth hall and failing, raping that holiday making couple from Dorset and then cutting them up and burying them on the outskirts of the village by the train station (not true -ed).
Oh the memories of my England, what is there not to be proud of? Thatcher, imperialism, track suits, big brother, Jeremy Clarkson and an international football team rammed to the hilt with cuntage.
COME ON ENGLAND!
Thursday, 24 June 2010
Well, it's better than sticking your balls in a blender.
Slovenia. What to say? The papers and media in general have gone completely over the top re yesterday's game, but I truly believe you must embrace every moment that goes your way in the World Cup, it's only every four years, so maybe they've got a point.
Milner, I fucking love the geezer, he stood out and delivered for the 3 Lions on so many levels. We had shape and showed an appetite for attacking football, which has been eerily absent up until yesterday.
But, luck again failed us. The fucking Guuurrrmiinnnsss lie in wait. I'm not as optimistic as I was last night when I was cunted out of my skull, but out of the top teams left in the tournament you would have to say that the Gurmins would be the shits you'd want to play. Would have been well happy with a game against Ghana though. They've peaked and we haven't, well at least I hope we haven't. I know this one's boring, but I'm shattered and the four beers I've had aint doing their job, so go bollocks, off for a wank and an early night.
Slosh!
Milner, I fucking love the geezer, he stood out and delivered for the 3 Lions on so many levels. We had shape and showed an appetite for attacking football, which has been eerily absent up until yesterday.
But, luck again failed us. The fucking Guuurrrmiinnnsss lie in wait. I'm not as optimistic as I was last night when I was cunted out of my skull, but out of the top teams left in the tournament you would have to say that the Gurmins would be the shits you'd want to play. Would have been well happy with a game against Ghana though. They've peaked and we haven't, well at least I hope we haven't. I know this one's boring, but I'm shattered and the four beers I've had aint doing their job, so go bollocks, off for a wank and an early night.
Slosh!
Monday, 21 June 2010
ENGLAND 85 ALGERIA 0
Wow, what a game that was. There we all were expecting the same tripe as the USA game and they pull that one out of the bag!
Rooney is now the highest goal scorer in England's and World Cup history as he bagged all 85 of the goals. The irony is of course, he was substituted with half an hour left to play for Heskey, who although had plenty of opportunities to bag a few goals himself failed to get on the score sheet. The Sun are screaming blue murder at Fabio and Heskey saying it is their fault that Rooney was denied the chance to score 100 goals in one single international game.
Stalwart defending from the extremely energetic looking Carragher put all our fears behind us, the fears were of course, who the fuck is the sweaty looking mick playing trying to play for England at centre back, his partnership with the diplomatic Terry was a formidable one.
In the middle of the park where the two creative sensations pinged one twos off each other all evening, England were joyous! Lamps and Gerrard were reading each other's minds with each new move they developed. What a force!
Johnson showed just why Fabio didn't need to bring another right back with him as he defended and stayed back selflessly allowing his winger the space and time to overlap and get to the by line to cross the ball in for the 'in the form of his life Rooney'.
After the game Ashley Cole weeped as he said the honour of playing for England was just too fantastic and wanted to thank all the fans back home and he vowed he would not rest until he delivered the World Cup to our shores.
My wife was so impressed that she allowed me one night with Kathy Lloyd, which had been a dream since puberty. Kathy was wonderful and her husband didn't mind as I boned her all night as he sat in the front room watching repeats of On the Buses on ITV3. I had to turn her down though when she asked me to shit in her mouth, I had, after all eaten 3 king size snickers that day, and if I couldn't digest those peanuts neither could she. It just wouldn't have been fair, so I just pissed in her eyes.
Bosh!
Rooney is now the highest goal scorer in England's and World Cup history as he bagged all 85 of the goals. The irony is of course, he was substituted with half an hour left to play for Heskey, who although had plenty of opportunities to bag a few goals himself failed to get on the score sheet. The Sun are screaming blue murder at Fabio and Heskey saying it is their fault that Rooney was denied the chance to score 100 goals in one single international game.
Stalwart defending from the extremely energetic looking Carragher put all our fears behind us, the fears were of course, who the fuck is the sweaty looking mick playing trying to play for England at centre back, his partnership with the diplomatic Terry was a formidable one.
In the middle of the park where the two creative sensations pinged one twos off each other all evening, England were joyous! Lamps and Gerrard were reading each other's minds with each new move they developed. What a force!
Johnson showed just why Fabio didn't need to bring another right back with him as he defended and stayed back selflessly allowing his winger the space and time to overlap and get to the by line to cross the ball in for the 'in the form of his life Rooney'.
After the game Ashley Cole weeped as he said the honour of playing for England was just too fantastic and wanted to thank all the fans back home and he vowed he would not rest until he delivered the World Cup to our shores.
My wife was so impressed that she allowed me one night with Kathy Lloyd, which had been a dream since puberty. Kathy was wonderful and her husband didn't mind as I boned her all night as he sat in the front room watching repeats of On the Buses on ITV3. I had to turn her down though when she asked me to shit in her mouth, I had, after all eaten 3 king size snickers that day, and if I couldn't digest those peanuts neither could she. It just wouldn't have been fair, so I just pissed in her eyes.
Bosh!
Thursday, 17 June 2010
Brazilian? then fuckin fala portuguese you cunt!!! From Rash, Our Man in the Frying Pan (genius -ed)
Brazilian? then fuckin fala portuguese you cunt!!!
even more annoying than the vuvuzela or the enormous sunglasses people seem to wear is the nature of glory hunting fans here. because until two months ago no-one thought that the national side stood a shred of a chance of making the next round almost everyone here has another team that they "support". i am not talking about english south africans putting a cross of st george on the car or the inevitable portuguese flags stuck on corner shops or even afrikaaners wearing orange at Dutch games, oh no i am talking about south africans who have no connection with the south american continent suddenly making out they are life long supporters of the joga bonito. Then trying to lord it over you. when you kindly point out that the only thing they have in common with Brazil or Argentina is the crime rate they inevitably tell you "they support soccer..."
No lets have it right, if you support football i expect to see you in the stands of notts counties away end on a miserable, wet wednesday night in february. not wearing the brazil flag and a bikini and trying to get in the papers.
i have already seen my first bit of hooliganism for a team no-one has a connection with. the four year old in the house where i stay smashed her seven year old brother in the face with a plastic dinosaur toy for saying brazil was better than italy.... drew blood and everything.... still what do you expect from a country where man u and liverpool are still the top clubs (not kaiser chiefs or sundowns....) fucking gloiry hunters
still i have had enough of the cold of the high veldt and am off to the coast for some warmth
oh and on the subject of mr green and his tokoloshe problems maybe he should have seen
DR Rafiq
removal of tokoloshe, enlarge penis, become rich by using richand by using small boys
dont ask me i dont know either.....
even more annoying than the vuvuzela or the enormous sunglasses people seem to wear is the nature of glory hunting fans here. because until two months ago no-one thought that the national side stood a shred of a chance of making the next round almost everyone here has another team that they "support". i am not talking about english south africans putting a cross of st george on the car or the inevitable portuguese flags stuck on corner shops or even afrikaaners wearing orange at Dutch games, oh no i am talking about south africans who have no connection with the south american continent suddenly making out they are life long supporters of the joga bonito. Then trying to lord it over you. when you kindly point out that the only thing they have in common with Brazil or Argentina is the crime rate they inevitably tell you "they support soccer..."
No lets have it right, if you support football i expect to see you in the stands of notts counties away end on a miserable, wet wednesday night in february. not wearing the brazil flag and a bikini and trying to get in the papers.
i have already seen my first bit of hooliganism for a team no-one has a connection with. the four year old in the house where i stay smashed her seven year old brother in the face with a plastic dinosaur toy for saying brazil was better than italy.... drew blood and everything.... still what do you expect from a country where man u and liverpool are still the top clubs (not kaiser chiefs or sundowns....) fucking gloiry hunters
still i have had enough of the cold of the high veldt and am off to the coast for some warmth
oh and on the subject of mr green and his tokoloshe problems maybe he should have seen
DR Rafiq
removal of tokoloshe, enlarge penis, become rich by using richand by using small boys
dont ask me i dont know either.....
All I get is Lager and a Nasty Little Rash
Here's Rashid's latest post. I must work with this man more, he seems to be on my wave length...For a cunt.
what a twenty four hours... from the opening ceremony and euphoria of the opening game to that fumble.
johannesburg was gridlocked on friday forcing everyone out of their cars and across what is viewed as one of the worlds most dangerous cities on foot. Though to be honest all anybody said to me on that particular journey was "Can you feel it brother. It is here...." the atmosphere for south africa's opener at the fanpark in central joburg was epic to say the least. my ears were still ringing the next morning when i got the newspapers with their self congratulatory headlines.. it seems that this will be the best and most profitable world cup ever. but they always say that dont they? The police caught the guys who robbed a set of journalists within twenty four hours and promptly announced it wasn't south africans at all but zimbabweans and nigerians. so thats alright then. all looked good for englands opener....
within 5 minutes of kick off we were a goal up and looked alright, ok some of the players couldnt keep the new ball down at that altitude but even lennon seemed able to a do a bit more than simply scare people by running at them with his tiny little legs. then it seemed we had run up against african magic in some perverted form.
in south africa it is common for league teams to perform magic rites to ensure victory but it seems that some americans had visited the sangoma for a few spells. maybe the slippy hands spell or the make the keeper look like a twat special. or maybe one of the fans has unleashed the awesome power of the fabled tokoloshe.
a widespread belief in these parts is in evil demons called tokoloshe which if harnessed correctly can give the "owner" vast power. generally described being small and smelly but with an enourmous cock that is near enough the same length as his small body, people (especially rural people) still have great faith in these and other things of the shadow world. they are always trying to have sex with women and are sometimes cited in divorce proceedings. sounds like certain footballers i could mention. anyway these things will work for you and damage your enemies (American tokoloshe theory) but will also fuck you up at the first opportunity (Greens tokoloshe fucked him over theory). either that or Danielle Lloyd is a tokoloshe and we just havent noticed. think about it, shes had sex with just about everybody....
anyway i have decided to try and get over this by watching the dutch and danes try and deal with the fucking vuvuzela tomorrow at soccer city. i have to say that the english made one song heard above that noise last night. one song.....
what a twenty four hours... from the opening ceremony and euphoria of the opening game to that fumble.
johannesburg was gridlocked on friday forcing everyone out of their cars and across what is viewed as one of the worlds most dangerous cities on foot. Though to be honest all anybody said to me on that particular journey was "Can you feel it brother. It is here...." the atmosphere for south africa's opener at the fanpark in central joburg was epic to say the least. my ears were still ringing the next morning when i got the newspapers with their self congratulatory headlines.. it seems that this will be the best and most profitable world cup ever. but they always say that dont they? The police caught the guys who robbed a set of journalists within twenty four hours and promptly announced it wasn't south africans at all but zimbabweans and nigerians. so thats alright then. all looked good for englands opener....
within 5 minutes of kick off we were a goal up and looked alright, ok some of the players couldnt keep the new ball down at that altitude but even lennon seemed able to a do a bit more than simply scare people by running at them with his tiny little legs. then it seemed we had run up against african magic in some perverted form.
in south africa it is common for league teams to perform magic rites to ensure victory but it seems that some americans had visited the sangoma for a few spells. maybe the slippy hands spell or the make the keeper look like a twat special. or maybe one of the fans has unleashed the awesome power of the fabled tokoloshe.
a widespread belief in these parts is in evil demons called tokoloshe which if harnessed correctly can give the "owner" vast power. generally described being small and smelly but with an enourmous cock that is near enough the same length as his small body, people (especially rural people) still have great faith in these and other things of the shadow world. they are always trying to have sex with women and are sometimes cited in divorce proceedings. sounds like certain footballers i could mention. anyway these things will work for you and damage your enemies (American tokoloshe theory) but will also fuck you up at the first opportunity (Greens tokoloshe fucked him over theory). either that or Danielle Lloyd is a tokoloshe and we just havent noticed. think about it, shes had sex with just about everybody....
anyway i have decided to try and get over this by watching the dutch and danes try and deal with the fucking vuvuzela tomorrow at soccer city. i have to say that the english made one song heard above that noise last night. one song.....
FAMILY AND THE LIKE? ON YOUR FUCKING BIKE!
Remeber all that shit I spouted on about prior to the battle with the septics? Forget about it. I watched that game with my Dad, Sister, Wife, Son, Brother and family friends. I had a row with my siter, my son cried and threw a wobbly when I wasn't taking any notice of him, Dad moaned all the way through it and my wife and step mum had a really interesting conversation about shoes. Oh and my brother is just a teenager (cunt).
For Friday's game against Algeria, I will be watching it in London with a bunch of mates, drinking loads of beer, sniff, smoking snouts etc.
We've got to be optimistic about this one. Algeria have no points and surely need to attack, hopefully leaving gaping holes at the back (about the size of Bab Windsor's clunge) for Rooney to smack the net up with. Please G-D.
What about the swiss eh? My mate Salv is an avid Spain fan and my mate Lol is Algerian/Spanish/English and French. Lol would have been supporting the mighty Spain, because they had the best chance of winning the trophy, he may have moved over to Algeria now. I must admit, I laughed myself silly when they lost that one. Can you see them both over there in the corner, yeah you can see them, obviously they both look like dodgy gangsters from Carlito's Way, yeah those two, told yer didn't I, see the one with the big head, yeah that's him. Cunts.
Here's Rash with the leather!
For Friday's game against Algeria, I will be watching it in London with a bunch of mates, drinking loads of beer, sniff, smoking snouts etc.
We've got to be optimistic about this one. Algeria have no points and surely need to attack, hopefully leaving gaping holes at the back (about the size of Bab Windsor's clunge) for Rooney to smack the net up with. Please G-D.
What about the swiss eh? My mate Salv is an avid Spain fan and my mate Lol is Algerian/Spanish/English and French. Lol would have been supporting the mighty Spain, because they had the best chance of winning the trophy, he may have moved over to Algeria now. I must admit, I laughed myself silly when they lost that one. Can you see them both over there in the corner, yeah you can see them, obviously they both look like dodgy gangsters from Carlito's Way, yeah those two, told yer didn't I, see the one with the big head, yeah that's him. Cunts.
Here's Rash with the leather!
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