ENGLAND 85 ALGERIA 0

Wow, what a game that was. There we all were expecting the same tripe as the USA game and they pull that one out of the bag!
Rooney is now the highest goal scorer in England's and World Cup history as he bagged all 85 of the goals. The irony is of course, he was substituted with half an hour left to play for Heskey, who although had plenty of opportunities to bag a few goals himself failed to get on the score sheet. The Sun are screaming blue murder at Fabio and Heskey saying it is their fault that Rooney was denied the chance to score 100 goals in one single international game.
Stalwart defending from the extremely energetic looking Carragher put all our fears behind us, the fears were of course, who the fuck is the sweaty looking mick playing trying to play for England at centre back, his partnership with the diplomatic Terry was a formidable one.
In the middle of the park where the two creative sensations pinged one twos off each other all evening, England were joyous! Lamps and Gerrard were reading each other's minds with each new move they developed. What a force!
Johnson showed just why Fabio didn't need to bring another right back with him as he defended and stayed back selflessly allowing his winger the space and time to overlap and get to the by line to cross the ball in for the 'in the form of his life Rooney'.
After the game Ashley Cole weeped as he said the honour of playing for England was just too fantastic and wanted to thank all the fans back home and he vowed he would not rest until he delivered the World Cup to our shores.
My wife was so impressed that she allowed me one night with Kathy Lloyd, which had been a dream since puberty. Kathy was wonderful and her husband didn't mind as I boned her all night as he sat in the front room watching repeats of On the Buses on ITV3. I had to turn her down though when she asked me to shit in her mouth, I had, after all eaten 3 king size snickers that day, and if I couldn't digest those peanuts neither could she. It just wouldn't have been fair, so I just pissed in her eyes.
Bosh!